You either were or you weren't
Littlegirlcop picked up his small coffee from the counter and walked over to the table and sat down. Marty pointed with his eyes, then with a jerk of his chin and said, "See him, he get's laid like a fuckin' carpet, women, men, dogs, cats it doesn't matter; that fucker's got game." Littlegircop and his buddy Marty were getting a cup of coffee around the corner from the station. Marty gestured to Sean Landucci, one of the stationhouse lotharios as he walked past their table and out of the cafe. Murphy had heard Sean tell his stories, and he had seen him in action out at the bars, and while Murphy knew he was a skillful story teller, he also knew he didn't have any need to embelish.
Neither Murphy or Marty were getting-laid-like-a-rug type guys. Murphy was in a bit of dry spell, and Marty was the father of three. While he knew Marty's marital life was happy, he also knew two kids in diapers cut into both the time and energy for sex. As they say on the cop shows, Marty lacked motive and opportunity. Even as a single man Marty wasn't one of those guys. You either were or you weren't; Murphy and Marty both definitely weren't. On the other hand Muphy's kid brother Tommy was one of those guys. He could walk into a bar and leave with phone numbers and usually a bunch of new drinking pals too. He made out like a bandit, as they say, he was in like Flynn. While Tommy wasn't any nicer than Murphy, his warmth ran much closer to the surface: his quick smile, ease with a joke and the brightness of his eyes pulled people in and opened them up.
"So How's that brother of yours, how's Errol Flynn doing?"
Murphy knew this wasn't a general inquiry about the condition of his little brother, it was Marty looking for a good story about the young man's sexual adventures. Marty was a big fan of nicknames in general, but he was particularly fond of this nickname and rarely refered to Murphy's brother as anything else. He like saying Errol Flynn almost as much as he like saying Layed like a carpet, and Marty really enjoyed saying layed like a carpet.
"He hasn't said much lately. He knows not to taunt a thirsty man with a big glass of water," said Murphy, "but you can be damn sure he's doing more than just talking about it in a coffee shop."
Murphy wasn't sure if the stories from his weekend were amusing or just a little sad. He decided one was a little amusing but one was just sad, but he thought he could make them funny in the telling, so he told them anyway.
"Here's a story that you'd never hear my brother tell," Murphy started, " So I went out Friday night. I wasn't feeling really social but I wanted to get out of the house, so I went down to the bear bar for a beer. I got a bud, stood around, didn't see anyone I knew. Ate some peanuts form the peanut barrel, drank my beer, left. I walked up the street to the leather bar, it was dead, walk around the corner to this skanky place on Folsom. Out front some cute guy ask me if if he could ask me a few questions. I thought he was just outside smoking, or waiting for a friend, but it turned out he work for the city heath department. So this guy pulls a palm pilot out of his pocket, and says it wont take long, but the questions would be very personal. I told'm that I figured they might be considering he was with the city health department and he was infront of one of the skankier bars in a neighborhood of skanky bars. So he said 'have you gotten drunk or high in the past year?" then 'Have you had anal sex in the past year?' then, ' Have you had oral sex while drunk or high in the past year?' I think there were more questions depending on how you answered but those were all I got, then he said 'that's it' and I said 'I figured I'd get something for taking the survey' and he said 'no' but opened his arms and he gave me a big really nice hug."
If this had been one of Tommy's stories it would've been a blowjob or sex in an restaurant bathroom, but it was Murphy not Tommy. "It was a nice sincere hug," Murphy continued, "So that hug was the highlite of the night. I did a quick lap of the skank bar, didn't stay, and went back to the bear bar, had a beer and bumped into a guy I fooled around with once and who stopped returning my calls. Then I went home. So how's that for an exciting single-guy-out-on-the-town friday night?
Marty smiled a forced sort of smile and said it wasn't anything at all like an Errol Flynn story. Then feeling a bit silly Murphy continued, "Oh I didn't tell you about the naked guy I talked to did I? On the street, on sunday afternoon, there were a bunch of naked people riding bikes in a pack and there was a naked guy on rollerblade video taping them. He rolled right up next to where I was standing, naked exept for the skates. So I asked him what they were doing riding around naked, and he said they were protesting the high oil prices.
"So you got a hug from a guy who works at the VD clinic and you talked to a naked guy on the street?" said Marty.
"yeah," said Murphy, "that's all I got."
Neither Murphy or Marty were getting-laid-like-a-rug type guys. Murphy was in a bit of dry spell, and Marty was the father of three. While he knew Marty's marital life was happy, he also knew two kids in diapers cut into both the time and energy for sex. As they say on the cop shows, Marty lacked motive and opportunity. Even as a single man Marty wasn't one of those guys. You either were or you weren't; Murphy and Marty both definitely weren't. On the other hand Muphy's kid brother Tommy was one of those guys. He could walk into a bar and leave with phone numbers and usually a bunch of new drinking pals too. He made out like a bandit, as they say, he was in like Flynn. While Tommy wasn't any nicer than Murphy, his warmth ran much closer to the surface: his quick smile, ease with a joke and the brightness of his eyes pulled people in and opened them up.
"So How's that brother of yours, how's Errol Flynn doing?"
Murphy knew this wasn't a general inquiry about the condition of his little brother, it was Marty looking for a good story about the young man's sexual adventures. Marty was a big fan of nicknames in general, but he was particularly fond of this nickname and rarely refered to Murphy's brother as anything else. He like saying Errol Flynn almost as much as he like saying Layed like a carpet, and Marty really enjoyed saying layed like a carpet.
"He hasn't said much lately. He knows not to taunt a thirsty man with a big glass of water," said Murphy, "but you can be damn sure he's doing more than just talking about it in a coffee shop."
Murphy wasn't sure if the stories from his weekend were amusing or just a little sad. He decided one was a little amusing but one was just sad, but he thought he could make them funny in the telling, so he told them anyway.
"Here's a story that you'd never hear my brother tell," Murphy started, " So I went out Friday night. I wasn't feeling really social but I wanted to get out of the house, so I went down to the bear bar for a beer. I got a bud, stood around, didn't see anyone I knew. Ate some peanuts form the peanut barrel, drank my beer, left. I walked up the street to the leather bar, it was dead, walk around the corner to this skanky place on Folsom. Out front some cute guy ask me if if he could ask me a few questions. I thought he was just outside smoking, or waiting for a friend, but it turned out he work for the city heath department. So this guy pulls a palm pilot out of his pocket, and says it wont take long, but the questions would be very personal. I told'm that I figured they might be considering he was with the city health department and he was infront of one of the skankier bars in a neighborhood of skanky bars. So he said 'have you gotten drunk or high in the past year?" then 'Have you had anal sex in the past year?' then, ' Have you had oral sex while drunk or high in the past year?' I think there were more questions depending on how you answered but those were all I got, then he said 'that's it' and I said 'I figured I'd get something for taking the survey' and he said 'no' but opened his arms and he gave me a big really nice hug."
If this had been one of Tommy's stories it would've been a blowjob or sex in an restaurant bathroom, but it was Murphy not Tommy. "It was a nice sincere hug," Murphy continued, "So that hug was the highlite of the night. I did a quick lap of the skank bar, didn't stay, and went back to the bear bar, had a beer and bumped into a guy I fooled around with once and who stopped returning my calls. Then I went home. So how's that for an exciting single-guy-out-on-the-town friday night?
Marty smiled a forced sort of smile and said it wasn't anything at all like an Errol Flynn story. Then feeling a bit silly Murphy continued, "Oh I didn't tell you about the naked guy I talked to did I? On the street, on sunday afternoon, there were a bunch of naked people riding bikes in a pack and there was a naked guy on rollerblade video taping them. He rolled right up next to where I was standing, naked exept for the skates. So I asked him what they were doing riding around naked, and he said they were protesting the high oil prices.
"So you got a hug from a guy who works at the VD clinic and you talked to a naked guy on the street?" said Marty.
"yeah," said Murphy, "that's all I got."
posted by murphychatsascindy at 21:28
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