deep into the canyon

As Littlegirlcop was pulling into a parking space, he heard the beginning of a radio segment about April being national poetry month. As he walked up the back stairs to his second floor cubicle he thought today I should write a poem. Before he could get his jacket off and sit in his chair, Heather the office assistant asked him to help her unjam the copier. This really meant, thought Murphy, could you unjam the copier for me because I'd prefer not to figure out how to do it myself. As he pulled the piece of paper out of a roller exposed by one of four plastic pull down doors, the jam was only ever in one of those four places, he wrote this poem:

Finding Your Ass With Both Hands
by Murphy

Dear Heather, Please follow
these five easy instructions.
ONE reach behind with
your hands and feel for
the center of your back, the
place where you can feel
the bumps of your spine.
TWO Slide your hands
slowly down until you
feel a small patch of
fuzz that sits above
what feels like cleavage.
THREE slide your hands
further south slipping your
fingers deep into the canyon
of flesh being careful not
to snag your beautiful long
nails, sometimes decorated
with flower decals or chips
of diamondeque, on any
stray hairs. FOUR Squeeze.
FIVE Smile. Congratulations
you have just found your ass
using both hands.